Utsuro no Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls

◇◇◇ Kazuki Hoshino – 09/24 THU 12:25 ◇◇◇

Another day is about to pass without my speaking to anyone else at school.

We’re currently on lunch break. I stretch and look out the window. The weather today is nice, the sun is shining gently down into the classroom, but stormy weather is expected tomorrow.

I feel a sudden stabbing pain in my right hand. The wound there has already closed, but I still feel some twinges from time to time.

My right hand retains a deep, straight scar.

Whenever I look at it, I think:

—I have done something that will never disappear.

I look around the half-empty classroom and sigh.

Kokone is still in the hospital. While her condition isn’t critical, the wound I inflicted on her is anything but shallow. Her stomach will scar over, adding to the many ‘marks’ she already bears on her back.

Mogi-san is also still hospitalized. Outwardly, she hasn’t changed, but her attitude toward me has become more distant.

Yuuri-san is often absent from school, probably because she hasn’t fully digested the events of the ‘Cinema’ yet. In fact, she is absent today. When we talk, she always tries to appear cheerful, but it’s painfully obvious that she feels anything but.

Iroha-san is completely avoiding me. Yuuri-san told me that I shouldn’t worry about it, but she might be lying to try to give me some peace of mind.

Haruaki hasn’t spoken to me since that day.

I leave the classroom.

I suddenly lost all motivation to stick around for afternoon classes. Spending time in this half-empty classroom would just give me a headache.

On my way to the shoe lockers, I hear the term ‘Dog Human’ spoken by two chatty girls as they pass me by.

‘Dog Humans’.

In the end, they didn’t have any lasting impact. Once all the victims regained their memories, the riddle became less interesting, and the media soon stopped reporting on it. The variety show that had continuously focused on the issue also jumped to a new scandal: some extramarital affair involving a key member of an idol group and her producer.

Given the scale of the incident, people won’t forget about the ‘Dog Humans’ as quickly, but it is starting to fade into obscurity; the topic isn’t hot anymore.

The current state of affairs is unlikely to have caused people to seriously reconsidered their morals. There isn’t much discussion of the phenomenon online, either. Currently, cyber-dwellers are getting worked up by some anime writer who insulted a fan. Word of the incident has spread rapidly and devolved into a shitstorm. Someone was even arrested for making a death threat. I can’t deny that I’m just a bit annoyed that what Daiya has tried to achieve, is being equated with a trivial incident like that.

That being said, I don’t think that Daiya’s efforts were entirely futile: I’m sure there are still some people who reflect on the problems that he brought to the fore. In order to maintain the attention of the masses, however, he would’ve had to keep going. All topics have expiration dates of sorts.

I reach the shoe lockers. No one reproaches me for leaving early as I change into my leather shoes.

The students playing baseball and basketball on the school grounds catch my eye.

This school hasn’t really changed, either, despite the creation of so many [servants]. They have all forgotten about the ‘box’, although a few of them may have suffered serious after-effects. But that isn’t enough to have a real impact on everyday school life.

“……”

I wonder why?

For some reason, I feel a bit uncomfortable. Even though I stopped Daiya, even though that was what I wanted all along, it saddens me somehow that nothing has changed at all.

I mean, reflecting on what resulted, what are any of us capable of achieving?

If Daiya couldn’t change anything even though he was willing to accept self-destruction, how much meaning can be found in our existence? Why is it that everyday life remains unaffected even though one student suffered a serious injury, another student quit school, and another student disappeared without a trace?

…No, this thought is far too Daiya-centric.

In fact, that’s why I believe in the sanctity of everyday life; why I believe that I can save Maria by making her part of this self-equilibrating everyday life.

The reason I am being so sentimental right now is—although he might not agree anymore—Daiya is my friend. I feel that his endeavors deserve to pay off at least a little bit.

“Daiya…”

Daiya has disappeared again.

After that incident, I only met him once. He stopped dyeing his hair and removed his piercings, and came to school to hand in an official withdrawal form. I screwed my courage to the sticking point and tried to talk to him, but he just smiled weakly and then ignored me.

I have no idea what Daiya plans to do now.

I leave school, get on the train, and finally arrive at a very familiar five-story apartment complex. I have never pressed any button in this elevator apart from 1F and 4F, and that’s not about to change. I press 4F like I always do and head to room 403.

I take the duplicate key Maria gave me and unlock the door.

Before me lies an empty room without any furniture.

No one is present.

I briskly remove my shoes and make myself at home again in this empty apartment. But there is no sign of Maria anymore.

Nowhere.

I could endure the lack of furniture; there were never many things here to begin with.

What’s unbearable, however, is the lack of peppermint fragrance in the air.

The scent I associate with Maria is missing, making me realize that Maria won’t be returning.

“Maria…”

She disappeared.

Once she finished treating Kokone’s wounds that day, she disappeared. I never let her out of my sight, but she must have bided her time, and somehow found an opportunity to slip away. I immediately searched the area, but failed to find her.

She is still registered at school, but I doubt she plans to return, especially since she also moved out.

Most likely, she doesn’t plan on ever meeting me again.

Of course I’m going to recover her nonetheless. I’m going to succeed.

“——aahAah!”

I can hardly breathe; I feel as if the oxygen in my lungs is being sucked away. My chest throbs with pain because I want to see her, because I want to see her so much. I tear up. I can’t even tell if I’m sad or embittered or feeling some other emotion; it just hurts so much that I can’t hold back my tears.

And then I think:

“I won’t let you!”

I won’t let her escape.

I’m going to find her whatever it takes. Whatever. It. Takes. If I have to kill every single person on this planet, I’m ready to engage in mass genocide at the drop of a hat.

I take out the peppermint oil I bought earlier and start walking around the apartment, dribbling the oil on the floor. However, the nostalgic fragrance that spreads about brings me no comfort. It’s not enough. A few drops of oil is never going to be enough for me.

Give me air to breathe!

“Hah…ah…hah!”

Oh Maria.

The real Maria without a ‘box’. The pure Maria I haven’t encountered yet.

—the Zeroth Maria.

Where are you?

If it would release you, I would gladly rip open Aya Otonashi’s skin!

—Click.

Suddenly, the door handle turns downward.

I’m very nervous. Needless to say, I have no right to be here, yet I’m carelessly sprinkling aroma oil as if it were my own home. If someone from the management company is coming in, I’m screwed.

However, when I see who it is, I realize that my concerns were silly.

It’s much worse.

It’s the worst thing that could happen.

“‘O’.”

She has again assumed an appearance that somehow resembles Maria’s.

The two of us have met several times now. Not all of our encounters changed things for the worse, but it’s a different story this time.

‘O’ stands before me as an enemy.

She has come to fight me.

With a smile as repulsive as ever, she asks:

“Are you ready?”

—For what?

‘O’ answers:

“To say goodbye to this world!”
◆◆◆ Daiya Oomine – 09/24 THU 10:45 ◆◆◆

Even after losing the ‘Shadow of Sin and Punishment’, I[1] could remember most of my knowledge concerning the ‘boxes’. I don’t know why, but I assume it has to do with my knowledge of them even prior to obtaining one.

I walk along the streets of Shinjuku. It’s crowded. But unlike last time, I’m not struck by a dizzy spell. I don’t see any sins when I step onto someone’s shadow. While I know that people are hiding polluted sludge within their bodies, the crowd no longer resembles a wriggling garbage sack.

They’re just people.

I reach up to touch my piercing, but remember that I won’t find anything metallic there anymore. I smile wryly instead.

In the middle of the crowd, I suddenly get down on my knees. I stretch out my back and gracefully prostrate myself.

No matter how you look at it, what I’m doing is just plain weird.

—All right.

I raise my head. Several people are giving me wry looks, but most people just ignore me and try not to get involved. That’s the limit of the influence I can wield by doing something weird. That’s all the influence I can wield now that I can no longer control anyone.

I no longer have the power to achieve anything.

“Heh…”

That’s okay.

People pass by indifferently.

Yeah, that’s right. To me, the world has become a group of people that I will never have anything to do with again.

And that feels incredibly relaxing.

However—

As I get back on my feet, someone suddenly pats me on the back.

I turn around.

“Ah, it’s you?” I say as I contort my face. To be honest, I’d rather not see that face again. “Do you still want something from me?”

In response to my attitude, she widens her eyes and starts desperately babbling. I don’t understand a word of what she’s saying in her agitated state, but after I patiently listen to her for a while, I finally understand what she wants from me. Apparently, she still wants me to act like a god and save the world.

“You want me to guide you? That’s impossible; I don’t have that power anymore. …What? You don’t care if I have that power or not? You’re not making sense. Anyway, let me make this clear: I don’t want nor do I intend to do something like that again.”

She isn’t happy with my answer. She gets all worked up once more and tries to persuade me. What a stubborn girl. She doesn’t even remember the ‘box’ I used on her anymore.

“Responsibility? Yeah, I intend to turn myself in once Kokone gets better. Murdering Koudai Kamiuchi was a great sin, after all. …Mm? That’s not what you’re talking about? Then what do you mean by responsibility? …The responsibility for guiding you? But I released you, didn’t I? What else would you want? ……Huh? You’re wrong. Your life doesn’t belong to me. It never did. It belongs to you and no one else.”

She still refuses to give up.

“Could you please stop it already? Don’t expect anything else from me. I’m just a high school student—no, I’m not even that anymore. I’m just a failure who couldn’t even properly attend my classes—I’m just a human!”

She desperately tries to change my mind.

Guide me, she says. Save me, she cries.

How do you want me to do that, for crying out loud?

It seems futile to engage with her any further. I turn around.

“Live your own life from now on.”

We are done with each other.

That’s what I tell her.

I distinctly reject the remnant of my now lost power.

In the next moment, I feel a burning pain in my back.

“Huh?”

My energy drains away and I fall to my knees.

In a matter of moments, they’re stained with the blood streaming out of me.

I spit out blood and look at the face of the person who stabbed me. Only now do I notice that I may have been talking with her, but I didn’t really take heed of her. I treated her like a delusion within my own mind.

Only after being injured like this could I truly recognize her.

Only after injuring me like this could she make me recognize her existence.

“A human you say? Who are you kidding?” she says as she looks down at me with vacant eyes. “You are a god.”

The bob-haired middle school girl drops a large kitchen knife and starts to spread my blood on her face like make-up.

“How am I supposed to continue living when you’re not a god? Take responsibility! Please take responsibility for what you’ve started!”

The people around us finally take notice of what’s going on and start to scream.

“You’re not allowed.”

She laughs with tearful eyes.

“You’re not allowed to return to being a human.”

She dashes off with these final words, bumping into person after person.

She quickly disappears. But it won’t be long until she breaks under the burden of what she did. She’s up against a wall. This world will never be so gentle and just as to protect her.

That’s what my failed attempt at guiding people as a would-be god has brought forth.

“——Ha.”

I spit out some more blood.

“——Haha.”

So this is the result of what I did, huh? It’s so horrible I have to laugh.

But now that I think about it, it shouldn’t come as a surprise. Why did I think that I could get away without being punished, anyway? Did I think that the consequences of my actions would magically disappear?

Even after losing my power, I still corner others, and others corner me.

What goes around comes around. I was expecting my ruin all along, so in a sense, my expectation just came true.

However.

Even though I realize that I’m to blame…

“……this is…a bad joke…”

I lament.

I don’t wish for my own ruin anymore. I don’t desire such an outcome. Yet I ended up this way because I put the gears of fate in motion toward my own ruin.

I have passed the point of no return long ago? Well, shut up. What should I do then? I mean, I—

“……I want…to live…so badly!”

I spit out these heartfelt words along with more blood.

It aches. It hurts. It hurts. It aches.

I want to live.

Kokone.

Kokone, I want to see you.

I was blind and now I see what’s right. I don’t care if I can’t do anything. I don’t care if I just become a burden. I still want to be with you. I realize that this is what I want, what I was supposed to do…and yet!

My wish ends up getting crushed like this?

Don’t fuck with me!

Clenching my teeth, I struggle to my feet.

I mustn’t lose like this. I mustn’t die here. The nearest police station should be right around the corner. I have to get there.

No one bothers to help me as I stagger through the crowd, dripping with blood. Each and every person just tries to avoid me. I wasn’t able to change the world’s indifference.

Is this my just desert?

I try to laugh, but I can’t. I’ve reached my limits rather quickly. I can’t push my legs anymore; my consciousness is slowly fading away. The world starts to whirl around me.

It ends here.

I slump powerlessly to the ground.

And then I think,

If there were anyone who could save me in this situation, she would be the very manifestation of hope.

Nhảy lên ↑ Daiya now refers to himself throughout as boku (僕), as he used to in his earlier, more carefree and innocent days.